Introducing Marriage as a Blanket Solution
This morning I spoke to a group of male business owners on leadership. As I was leaving, one of the men stopped me and asked me what I consider a strange question. He asked me how a person could make himself (or herself) ready for marriage. I looked at him and said I don’t understand that question.
His concern was that there are so many single moms in his neighborhood and their kids are running loose all the time. I wondered what that had to do with marriage. He said that if they were married and had a two-parent family that this would not be happening. I disagree.
Just because a family has two parents, that doesn’t mean the kids won’t be running around all the time. In some communities, that’s just the way it is. It’s a way of life. Remember the term “It takes a village”? That applies here.
Everyone has different experiences. We all have different lives; we live in different parts of the world. There is no such thing as a blanket solution for everything. Making two people marry for the sake of the children is never a good solution. That’s a recipe for disaster for the parents and the kids.
Now, the most interesting part of this story is that the man asking the question was an older gentleman who had been divorced twice. He, of all people, should have recognized that a blanket solution wouldn’t work. It didn’t work for him or either of his wives. Again, that’s just the way it is.
Some marriages are meant to be short term - or not at all. Today, many people choose to stay single for a longer period of time and there’s nothing wrong with that.
Because we are all different, blanket solutions do not work for everyone. The next time you hear one proposed, ask yourself if it would work for you. Chances are it probably won’t.
Wendi Moore-Buysse works with business professionals who want to learn how to market to women. She coaches, teaches, and consults with women who want to develop intuition and who want to develop leadership skills. Her books from the Life’s Little Cheat Sheets Series, including “Shifting Gears: Get Moving in the Right Direction”, are available through her website. “Shifting Gears” includes ways to shift your focus from what you don’t want to what you do want (which include children and family). Visit http://www.wendimoore.com for more information and to read her Life’s Little Cheat Sheets blog.
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